Remember when Marie Kondo was telling us all to ask if things "spark joy"? And we all lost our damn minds folding our underwear into perfect rectangles and arguing over whether we were allowed to own more than 35 books?
Good times. Anyway, I got a new one for you.
I decided to tackle the basement Room Where Stuff Goes When I Don't Want to Deal With It Anymore But Also Feel Like I Can't Get Rid of It today. Does everyone have this room? Lots of people have this room. Or this closet. Or a box. Whatever. Mine is very full of Late Husband's old stuff, as well as things my mother foisted off onto me as "family heirlooms." And then never mentioned again. Is it a Precious Piece of Tov Family History(TM) if you're only giving it to me to get it tf out of your own house without having to figure out how to resell, donate, or recycle it, mom?
And I started asking myself a question. A more useful (for me, today) question than "Does this spark joy?" Because NOTHING in that room sparks joy! It's why it is in the room!
No, I started asking myself: "What if I just didn't keep this?"
That's it. That's the question. "Okay, but what if I just...didn't?"
Reader, this question has LIBERATED ME.
The room very quickly broke down into three piles:
(1) "It would be great if I didn't have this. I would not care. I would feel relieved to have my space back." (70 percent)
(2) "Huh. I would regret or miss this? Maybe?" (20 percent)
(3) "Nope, that would suck." (10 percent)
The 70 percent is now staged in a pile at the bottom of the basement stairs (I will carry it up and out when it is not Approximately One Hundred Hell Degrees outside). The 20 percent is tucked into an alcove beside the stairs, doing a trial run of Not Existing. It's all clearly labeled, so if I want or need something, I can go pull it out. The 10 percent is neatly organized-
-actually it's mostly piled in another corner so I can move all the furniture and deep clean the room. But then it WILL be neatly organized!
I also, while cleaning out the "art supplies," am quickly coming to a realization: I don't make (visual) art. I buy it or have it gifted to me. For years I've been hoarding art supplies on the theory that SOMEDAY I will go make art with them. But I don't. So what if I just got rid of the art supplies?
I kept some basics that I do use for various projects: colored pencils, acrylic paint, a few half-used sketchbooks. The rest is going to my niece, who absolutely will use them and will probably need more by her birthday in fall.
I also don't sew anymore. But I have an entire dresser full of fabric "for projects." What projects? I have no idea. I don't sew anymore. Niece is getting anything she wants from the dresser, too.
When I came upstairs for food, I realized this question works on the entire house. Vacuum cleaner: "what if I just didn't have this?" I'd be annoyed at how dirty my floors are, is what. Grungy backyard sneakers I wear to clean the chicken coop: "what if I just didn't have this?" Wouldn't be the end of the world, but it's nice not to get poop on my going-to-work shoes. Piano: "what if I just didn't have this?" I would definitely miss it. Pushy old lady cat who NEEDS LAP even though it's 80F in here: don't even ask, I love this cat and I hope she lives forever.
Over the past year, I've been dialing back my shopping. Deleting all my online shopping accounts helped a lot (no, I do not have an Amazon account). So did switching to Privacy.com when I do need to order things online. Having to get online and spin up a card number makes me really think about whether I need stuff.
But I think "what if I just didn't have this?" is about to take my not-buying to a whole new level. It'll let through things I actually need. ("what if I just didn't have these groceries?" I'd be hungry is what.) But things that are merely shiny, or that I only think I want because an ad convinced me I did? Far more likely to fail the test. "what if I just didn't have this makeup?" I would...have to draw on my face with the makeup I have at home. Or just not draw on my face. At 40+ years old, I am already totally irrelevant to the beauty and fashion industries anyway. I am practically dead. My reward for surviving my 20s and 30s is that I don't have to draw on my face at all unless I want to.
So when my new organizational empire takes off and everyone is buying $500 branded drmollytov organizational totes, you can say you saw it here first.
"Do I need this? What if I just...didn't?"
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