molly's guide to cyberpunk gardening

raccoons are the most cyberpunk animal

I swear (I assume) I'll get back to having Actual Thoughts soon. There's just a ton of reading about AI in education that is stuck in my head right now, trying to turn itself into...something.

Meanwhile, this thread about cyberpunk food options:

Cyberpunk Forums: cyberpunk food general

especially the posts about dumpster diving and five-finger discounts, have got me thinking: Raccoons are extremely cyberpunk animals.

• liberates food from the corporate waste cycle
• wears a night-vision-enhancing mask
• onboard dual cooling system (unusual tech for its size!)
• slick gray-and-black outfit is both stylish and functional
• highly adaptable; manages itself well in urban environments
• thrives on the fringes of society (like in your attic)
• never really domesticated (but will fake it for social engineering)
• good at picking locks/hacking things you don't want it to get into
• parkour master
• finds its own uses for things
• has an admittedly cool online handle ("trash panda")

"Trash panda" on Wikipedia even redirects to the raccoon page. I'm not kidding:

Wikipedia "raccoon"

Raccoons are so good at getting into chicken coops that most people I know actually *padlock* theirs. Because there's no twisty bit of wire a raccoon can't figure out. Bungee cords don't work; they just chew them, unless they're the rubber-and-wire kind. Chicken wire keeps chickens in, but it absolutely won't keep a raccoon out (I use 1/4 inch hardware cloth). I've seen raccoons remove padlocks that were insufficiently snapped shut, too. I'm just waiting for the day a raccoon shows up armed with a lockpick set.

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