bombs in bottles
My global friends: I get it. The Americans will not stop referring to temperatures in Fahrenheit even though there is a perfectly comprehensible temperature scale RIGHT THERE.
Fear not! No longer do you have to perform complex equations in your head or brute force memorize incomprehensible numbers. For lo, I have devised a foolproof way to convert easily from Celsius to Fahrenheit. You need memorize only a single rule:
Temperatures in Fahrenheit = percent Hot.
Here is a scale with examples:
100F = 100 percent Hot. About as Hot as a human can tolerate. Above 100 percent Hot, long exposure becomes dangerous to human health. (Humans can comfortably handle objects to about 120F, or 120 percent Hot.) Americans say "temps are in the triple digits" the way the rest of humanity says "temps are nearing 40."
90F = 90 percent Hot. Only tolerable is the relative humidity is low. Hence the traditional anthem of denizens of the American Southwest: "But it's a DRY heat!"
80F = 80 percent Hot. This is what most Americans call "summer," except in the extreme south of the country, where this is "winter."
70F = 70 percent Hot. Humans are typically most comfortable at 70 percent Hot, making 70F a common setting for thermostats.
60F = 60 percent Hot. Most Americans believe a perfect early spring day is 60 percent Hot. A notable exception are Floridians, who believe 60 percent Hot is A Blizzard and The Dawning of a New Ice Age.
50F = 50 percent Hot. Most non-temperature-controlled underground spaces, like caves and unheated basements, are 50 to 55 percent Hot. Indoor plumbing should be kept at 50 percent Hot or above.
40F = 40 percent Hot. The temperature at which most refrigerators are set. Also the ambient air temperature in most ice rinks.
32F = 32 percent Hot. This is the temperature at which water freezes. As devotees of ice-based sports know, ice gets harder the less Hot it contains. Thus 32F ice is too mushy for anyone to enjoy skating on. Figure skaters like their ice about 26-28 percent Hot, while hockey players prefer it colder - about 24-26 percent Hot.
20F = 20 percent Hot. An ideal winter temperature: cold enough to keep snow frozen, but not too cold to enjoy it, especially if the sun is shining. Again, exceptions made for Floridians, who froze to death around 55 percent Hot.
10F = 10 percent Hot. Mostly Cold. Most people do not enjoy being exposed to this level of Hot for extended periods. Americans who do enjoy it may move to Canada.
0F = 0 percent Hot. No Hot, all Cold. Your nostrils feel like they are shrinking into your face, and the air hurts to breathe. Temperatures below 0 percent Hot are dangerous to human health, especially with long exposure.
Bonus: -40F (-40 percent Hot) is the same temperature as -40C. I'm sure you will find this piece of information as valuable in your daily life as I find it in mine.
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